My musing.

I wish I had cancer.
Actually I don't know why I've lived this long. When your depressed, its hard to share it with people. Zimbalta can help! Zoloft! Prozac!, there's even medicine to help your antidepressent work better. Yeah I have it.

Lately, due to my own laziness, or maybe from a sense that maybe my depression was something of a gift to help me see the world in a more unique, darker, and more creative way than the rest of the world, I stopped taking my medicine. After taking 50 Mg tablets for over 8 months and doing this is, well, really bad. And I hope you heed my advice if you plan on doing so.

This happened within this past month. I started two new jobs, moved to LA. Even with three roomates, the apartment was always empty. I had noone. There were many phonecalls, there were many, but late at night or on a long weekend, you just wished there was someone to see, touch, laugh.

It was truly lonely, sad. I found that if I was dating me, I would want to kill myself. Too much of me, sucked.

I never let that stopped me, I was an adventurous soul. I found places to be where I didn't need anybody, the beach, the cofeeshop, the bookstore. It was wonderous! I even read more books and articles in these spare weeks than I did in college, landing a gig with a local paper to cover concerts and bands. I would go to these amazing venues, alone, but without company I was free to take in every inch of the sights and sounds of the people around me. The lighting of the room, the laugh of a couple, the mood and atmosphere. It sucked being alone, but this would do.

As I slowly ran out of medicine, due to my lack of prescription refill planning, I lost control. I got physically sick, went to the ER for a bad case of the flu. Without them my happy pills, I felt really dizzy, vertigo. Everyday I felt like the world were circus mirrors, my eyes felt like bulging, and my migraines flushed the life out of me. Only I felt this. No one else. Each and everyday, if I didn't feel like emotionally dying, I felt like physically dying.

When I tell people this, they don't know what to say, when you tell them enough times, the answer is surprising but in actuality very realistic.

"If You want to die so much, why haven't you done it already?" Trust, I've been told this countless of times, and some of it from my closest friends (who didn't realize I haven't forgotten).

Well, the question is now rearranged. Why do you want to die? with Why haven't you died yet?

What is it that's keeping me here? I don't know.

Aha.

Dear Thomas,

I like you.

-D

What to say when your not saying it....

I was inspired for this article on the basis of how we construct reality. Everything has a meaning but who says that those meanings are supposed to be true? Here's some gestures that I found to be quite interesting.....

So never in my life would I believe that Hannah Montana would grace my blog. Whatevs, it happens! Like all the rest of them trendy tween heads saying they come in peace, the infamous V-sign, popularized by Winston Churchill, is actually the Yin to our next symbol's yang.

When you switch the V sign around you get a simple "fuck You" from the British. This next one actually makes sense considering my dad always ended up yelling at someone who did this to him.
So this gesture is only meant to be done to dogs in the Philippines. Do it to a person, and you've compared them to an animal you have to pick poop after.
No, the late President Corazon Aquino is not calling you a loser. This is the "Laban" or "fight" gesture used during the revolution to oust Marcos out of the Philippines. In America, it simply means:Yes....the best show ever. and you thought I meant "loser." A backwards V sign to you as my other hand tells you to come here.

Symbols, meanings, and reality are never universal. They are constantly created and changing. Here's some more if your interested.

-D

Who do I Intend to be?

Sent my first pitch letter. This is to Campus Circle on October 13 (maybe 14 th, its 1 a.m. right now).

All in one e-mail title: Story Ideas and Reviews
Enjoy!

Hello,

Seasonal previews for fall often invite more songs and movies with lullaby tones, somber moods, and a need for a pick me-up after a wild rumpus of a summer. Now that the first rain has settled, I have some great music and movie reviews for the upcoming issue:

This week, the highly anticipated “Where the Wild Things Are” will hope to wake up the masses back to the sweet freedom of childhood. Will Spike Jonze bring us to this promise land, or is the story simply lost in translation on film?

In this same respect, the masters of folk and indie sensibilities are set to play at the Greek Theatre this month, and though Regina Spektor has been reviewed by your magazine before, the experience just might be better with the outdoor foliage. After “500 days of Summer,” Spektor’s lyrical amusements and provocative sound is as powerful as ever.

Speaking of power, another event describes the best of folk musicians simply as “monsters”. I find the definition befitting since the Monsters of Folk tour at the Greek Theatre will be a tremendous acoustic driven event that is sure to send coffee house tremors from the various sing-alongs that may occur.

I would love to review these films and concerts for your issue, and have attached some writing samples from other film and theatre reviews while I was at UCLA’s Daily Bruin. I freelance part-time with a strong attachment to the college community in LA. Let me know if you’re interested.

-Denise Guerra

909-319-4878

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Screen Scene: “Taking Woodstock”

By Denise Guerra

Aug. 24, 2009 at 1:11 a.m.

Advertisements for “Taking Woodstock” read, “It’s a trip,” and though the destination is worth it, the road to get there is a long and heavy wait.

Director Ang Lee (“Brokeback Mountain”) is best known for capturing the humanistic and psychological struggle of all his characters. The film is filled with scenes and nuances of the era, utilizing many effects to capture the feeling that came with 1969.

Following the actual 40th anniversary of the real Woodstock, the film takes the whole life-altering experience of the festival and focuses it on the coming-of-age of its central character, Elliot Tiber (Demetri Martin), the man responsible for making Woodstock happen.

---

"Taking Woodstock"
Directed by Ang Lee
FOCUS FEATURES

---

Based off Tiber’s best-selling autobiography of the same name, the movie follows his struggle to live his own life while fulfilling an obligation to aid his parents in their ailing motel, the El Monaco, in White Lake, New York.

As head of White Lake’s Chamber of Commerce, Tiber approves the permit to hold the Woodstock Festival in White Lake after the festival loses its permit to an adjacent town.

In his first full-length movie as a lead character, actor-comedian Martin plays the awkward, waiting-to-get-out-of-his-shell part nicely. There is an understanding to his situation in trying to follow his own path despite a rather forced obligation to his parents.

But it is only when Woodstock comes into his life that Tiber and the movie audience begin to wake up.

The audience is able to sense this conflict in the beginning of the film as it drags along Tiber’s experience with his overbearing mother (Imelda Staunton). In fact, her character as a grouchy immigrant shows the most interesting transformation and dramatic comedy in the movie. Just watch her eat a “special” brownie and see what happens.

Following the approval of the festival, chaos ensues as the town is literally flooded by hippies of the clothed and nude variety. With the influx of people creating massive traffic jams and food shortages, Lee truly captures the communal peace, love and psychedelic trips that defined the era.

He accomplishes this not only through small vignettes like Tiber’s experience with LSD but also through a technique of splitting the screen into two points of view. Though the view may create a little confusion, it is also an interesting way to effectively provide an insider’s perspective of all the different elements going on within a single scene.

Other recognizable characters in the film include Emile Hirsh (“Into the Wild”), Eugene Levy (“American Pie”) and Liev Schreiber (“Wolverine”).

Schreiber, who naturally extends a physical appearance like that of Rambo, plays cross-dressing bodyguard Vilma, who aids Tiber in becoming comfortable with his sexuality. All these minor characters add some richness to the film’s central storyline, but otherwise they are one-dimensional.

Besides the chaotic conflict of the concert’s overall planning and the town’s sudden population growth, Tiber is also trying to come to terms with his sexuality, which is downplayed a little too heavily in the film.

Don’t expect to ever see the actual concert; the film is all about what happens backstage, behind the throngs of concertgoers and promoters. It goes all the way back to the transformation of the individual.

– Denise Guerra

__________________________________________________________________________________

Theater Review: "Spring Awakening"

By Denise Guerra

Nov. 26, 2008 at 12:22 a.m.

Teenagers having sex, nothing new there; in this day and age, we’ve become immune and amused. In 1890s Germany, where the topic of sex is treated like a case of cholera, “Spring Awakening” gives these teens a mic and lets the frustration fester into an all-out rock-and-roll musical fable. The theme is prevalent, but the experiences of the play’s characters are still as poignant, confusing and angst-filled as our own coming-of-age sexual entendres.

“Spring Awakening,” a 2007 smash hit on Broadway and eight-time Tony Award-winner is now playing for LA audiences at the Ahmanson Theatre until Dec. 7. The production’s controversies settle around explicit portrayals of homosexuality, masturbation and suicide.

For its brooding, highbrow hero Melchior, a Hollywood casting of blond Kyle Riabko is decent, like a darker, more intellectually mature Zac Efron from “High School Musical.” With the shadow of its Broadway predecessor, the energy of the new cast is not up to par with the original but still holds its own in its portrayal of electrifying musical numbers such as “Mama Who Bore Me.”

Written in 1891 by Frank Wedekind, “Spring Awakening” was readapted from the originally banned production to include more contemporary musical numbers against the backdrop of traditional Germany. Dealing with parents, teachers and authority figures who oppress the developing teenagers’ sexual desires, the play jumps inside the inner minds of these teens kicking and screaming to let their urges out to a catchy soundtrack of indie rock-and-roll numbers.

The extremely naive heroine, Wendla, played by Christy Altomare, is annoyingly innocent, but the progression of her character in the toils of her explicit encounter with Melchior grows into a deeper portrayal of her confusion and sheltered life.

However, expect to find yourself tapping your feet most to Melchior’s underachieving and over-sexually burdened schoolmate Moritz, who steals the spotlight in upbeat musical tempos such as “Don’t Do Sadness” and “The Bitch of Living.” When Moritz speaks, he exudes a quirky nervousness and jittery unrest that plagues him throughout the production. If this is just Moritz speaking, wait until the music is added.

The set design is structured with minimal stage props and relies on an array of stage and background lighting to convey various scene and mood changes. In a unique altering of theater traditions, the stage is crafted so that public audience members are seated at the sides of the stage, allowing the cast to interact with the audience and the band during the production.

Passion Pit

...on my top 10 list of the best records of 2009.
Word.

At least I'm not this guy.

http://melodymaker.posterous.com/the-reason-some-girls-stay-single-very-funny

For a very heavy week, this makes up for it.

-D

August 24-29, specifically the 26.

"In the depths of winter, I found in me an invincible summer.
...and summer in the real world involves a job with benefits." :)
-Albert Camus (*Thank You Sam)

It's been about two months, approximately, since leaving UCLA. 1 month since I've come back from home. Yo quiero cortar. One month it took me to decide that next week I move to Los Angeles for good. It was time, I had been lying around on the couch looking specifically for full time jobs in my area of speciality. Entry level, part-time, nothing.

It was only once I moved that about three weeks ago things started to come up. They were all part-time that a high school education could have provided me. So what the heck, I need the money I took all that I can, went to job interview after job interview for restaurants. Why this place, because I walked by one once and saw a beautiful hostess laughing, and another friend who brings home food and takes home tips. I was friendly enough, and dressed as if I had a date with a buisnessman. The interviews (plural) went well.

This week I started with a very friendly atmosphere that offered 10/hr plus tips and benefits. Part-time of course, because I also had an internship that paid nothing. Plus I still had work at the Boba place in a little Asian district near my house.

I found another restaurant that I can work at right after my internship and it seemed perfect. They hired me today... Yo quiero cortar.

Depression sucks because essentially you just have to deal with it. That's it. Deal with it. What does that mean? I laid flat on a pillow crying because I wasn't perfect and I make mistakes. I don't want to seem like someone who makes mistakes, I don't want the world to see me like that.

Yesterday, I ran into a job interview late and sweating with half an hour to get to training for a new job next door. The hiring manager took all those thirty minutes so I had to go. As much as I have called her, she hasn't called me since.

Today, I thought was my day off for training, I didn't look at the schedule, I simply assumed. (I'm accountable, yo quiero cortar). They called asking where I was, it was my third day on the job, so they rescheduled for tomorrow.

I also got hired at the restaurant near my internship. Yo quiero cortar, I had to reschedule with them twice when they told me today after my interview that I was to start. Again, my fault, I told them I can start ASAP. I told them the situation, that I had to work tomorrow. They said they'd call back. Never happened.

Why have I come to such conclusion? Every interview I have had with them they have called me two hours after to schedule another interview or to follow-up. I'm smart I can read actions. They simply needed someone who wasn't bogged down. After all this would be my fourth job, but they didn't know that, they only knew I had an internship and another restaurant job. No boba. Essentially no call, means no interest.

My dad says I should call tomorrow, like I should still care about it. It's so much easier to forget and walk away, then to linger onto hope. Hope, in these cases, is a dead end. You may ask why I have to do this to myself. Try to work 4 jobs. Simply its is my pride. I cannot say enough about how my parents love me, but I don't want to burden them with more money troubles. My dad is already scheduled to lose his job in October. I shouldn't tell you that though, it is a shame to reveal secrets. Yo quiero cortar.

So to pay rent and food and bills, I must resort to this. My pride is hurt that my awards and accolades that garner the bottom of my resume are mere embarrasments to reveal.

Okay, graduated Cum Laude, Phi Beta Kappa, at a presigious University, and I'm working minimum wage at a specialty drink store serving other students and working as a hostess near campus. Wow, imagen when school starts and the undergrads familiar with me see me seat them to their table. Screw all my achievements. Today I got hired and fired and already missed my first day of work. I can go on and on of such incompetence.

Voy a cortar but I wrote this instead.

A Statement of Failure

After my first day as a hostess near UCLA, I came out of work and found myself chit chatting with the valet manager. His cousin had lived in Riverside where I grew up, however I lived in the more elevated town of Moreno Valley, California. Yeah. He said with a pang of regret, she is a doctor now. I nodded with a reply of approval.
You know my family, we are all so different. She is a doctor and here I am parking cars.

I got to know my new restaurant manager today. So you go to UCLA?
Well I graduated, saying it with a smile, a loving dear lovely love of a smile.
So what are you doing working here?

At my internship, I do it for free, for the love of learning the craft of PR. I paid for school and now I get paid with experience. It's that wonderful.

-D

Why this Movie is a slap to 2009!

Even watching the previews it seems predictable!
Check out this article by Newsweek columnist Sarah Ball.

http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/popvox/archive/2009/08/21/why-post-grad-disappoints-an-entire-generation.aspx

I disagree with the Elle Woods thing though, it also alienates another group of people.

Don't know what I'm talking about?

Check your Skin color.

-D

A Promise I must Keep

I want to write. I need to Write. I have to write, or else.

The Very First Day For the Rest of My Life

I can't even tell what has gotten into me. A little bit of transition, maybe a little too fast switch position between adult to child, angel to sinner. I am feeling utterly irrepressibly hindered at the moment, because from this moment on it seems that responsibility trumps youthful vigor and I have transposed into a path that unless I crawl extra hard to veer, will inevitably lead me to unhappiness.

It all started not this morning, but this night, and I recall it backwards, because my mind has warped backwards into a mist of minted garnished smoke that inhaled causes a calm chaos. It was good, for a second, and now my head is still reeling.

He had taught me once on top of a dark laundry room the meaning of lust. From then I associated lust with love, and because God told me Lust in Sin, and Sin is death, then love is death, and I could not, would not. I am the anti-Carey Bradshaw.

She is a writer of something I dream of expressing. She lives as I want to live, and she embodies the goal set at my arms reach but too afraid to go any further.

I walked up the stairs today, one floor into a regular room of surfer dudes, who ignored our mere presence. I stood there with a sidekick and watched him close the door. Out came minted death, money exchanged for green in Saran Wrap.

It would be my first and last venture with sin, for like Peter Pan I had to grow up. The wrap will lay always hidden if I am able to escape the path I have chosen for myself- a path of escapism and journalism. A life of slavery and bondage for another type of minted paper. I am now responsible to society, not myself, nor anyone else.

Today I started responsibility whereas the end of my path will lead to a cliff of regrets.

This is how I feel now as I began my new life of literal labor that the receipt of my degree has guaranteed.

-D

"God Can be Hilarious"

A girl can run to her bed put a pillow over her face and scream and cry as loud as she wants too. It's an empty apartment, so hyperventilation and proverbial wimpers are allowed at a time like this.

11:00 am eating my tamale and drinking my coffee. Kevin from BB Boba calls says I got the job. Not elated, eat a piece of corned maseka, just felt contented. Called Dad about all the great opportunities that might come my way, ahh who cares about the InStyle mag internship, it was just bitch work, I need real projects....bah blah black sheep. Hung up to call "Angela" about the InStyle Magazine internship, ate another piece of tamale. Hello. Spit out tamale. Hi I'm inquiring about my status about the position. She answers and now I don't want to talk about it.

Right after this, literally, an E-mail from Big New York PR firm Ruder Finn has a sentence starting with- Unfortunately. They even italicized it. According to Ms. Shaplowsky they had 255 applicants for 5 positions. Then Ms. Shaplowsky tried to be polite and console my broken heart. My dreams of New York she said (my interpretation) is only 5 out of 255, and I was not the lucky winner.

I wish she said it that way. It would have uncovered the fake sympathy in the email.

The good news, I went to talk to the Korean Boba store owner whose actual name was Arnold (again me with names). After passing by a bus stop where a situation scared me, I roughly believed: OMG I'm in the ghetto. Looks like I start training tomorrow, and parking is a block a way. How much I'll make, best guess is minimum wage.

It's OK, there are people dieing of hunger in third world countries, abandoned puppies, people with no legs, no homes, no loving families. Oppression of minorities and third world globalization. Air pollution, divorce. All these thoughts to help me STOP WHINING ABOUT MY SITUATION. The Devil wears Prada is a perfect movie for quotage: That's all.

-D

....

I have a problem.
I want to kill myself
Another problem.
Can't do it.
Pussy.

-D

I'm Afraid

SO I guess the experiment worked, I'm keeping my lease, and preparing to move at this moment!

I didn't get a job...YET..but this week might change for me, I'll be hearing about New York and have two interviews lined up. As well all my apps from last week.

Some Homer style 'DoH' moments during my InStyle internship interview:

Interviewer: So you will be getting people's lunches...
Me: Will I have to drive because you know gas is expensive.
I: No, you can just run across the street to subway.

Lesson: Too arrogant.

Next I wrote a follow-up letter using the whole time a different name then the interviewer's. A second later I apologized for calling her someone's else's name.

Lesson: Though I read the letter three times, I didn't read her e-mail address to get her "real" name." A slap on the hand by a nun to me.

I doubt I landed that one.

I'm really hard on myself as you can see, and I'm angry, scared, and hurt, and all these mixed emotions....because I'm leaving...I'M LEAVING HOME

Shout out to In-N-Out
-D

Woodstock 4.0

Why Woodstock can never happen now?

Maybe we’ve become too individualistic. You ask what is a women in her early twenties know anything about Woodstock, and that you are true, but I will tell you the world that I live in.

Now this is a gross exaggeration, but we are individuals attached to machines. Sleepdealer by Alex Rivera reminded me of this truism. The premise of the movie was workers from Mexico were each attached to a virtual computer where every movement of their body responded to a working robot building buildings in the United States.

In a sense how true is it that we virtually cannot live without our machines in order to be productive. Cell phones, applications, Laptops, and Facebooks, those need to be checked frequently like a newborn infant. At this point roommates are speaking to each other through Facebook chat than face to face (guilty!).

Woodstock was essentially communal. Technology existed back in 69’ but it wasn’t infused with the individual. Yeah they took mind-altering drugs that left a point of twirling magical colored escapism but in the end they had the music, they had each other. The experience was real.

There is a difference between witnessing something yourself and witnessing it recording on your IPhone. Turn your head just a little aside, look past the device and something totally different happens.

Woodstock 69’ was all this collectively, in what it was, in the atmosphere; it existed as nature, not IN nature. Not through huge speakers and paneled televisions; not through corporate sponsorships and overpriced water that should essentially be free. Woodstock 99,’showed just how far we’ve come and the community responded with anger.

Now where does technology come in? We have found a way to capture the music that played so freely on the fields of Bethel, New York and placed it on a playlist. Essentially that’s all we need nowadays. We can sit on a huge grassy knoll by ourselves with our headphones on and feel the music like the hippies of old but yet we keep it to ourselves not because we want too but because music companies force us too.

In the end, in all our individualism we lost each other, we lost our freedom, we lost Woodstock forever, and I have to wonder.. who is to blame?

DAY 2: Monday

Hiked to the BACK of the Hollywood Sign with Jason Camit. Decided in order to be tough on the job, you have to be tough physically, mentally, and learn that anti-climactic endings are always around the corner. Still, it was worth it in every way, just look for the encouraging signs up on the trail that tell you "GREAT JOB" and "YOUR ALMOST THERE." ( a metaphorical message from my parents back home in Riverside)

Once home I got too organizing my room and getting settled for my new office space. "Denise Works to Live INC."

Tired and exhausted my email told me for 1: The Prostate Cancer foundation doesn't need my services and 2: An interview with InStyle Magazine for Wednesday. (Cheering inside right now).

So far so good,
-D

DAY 1: Sunday

Rooms a mess, nothing is organized.

Applied to two online jobs
Walked around Westwood asking for paper applications, received 8. Kind of hurts your pride a bit when you graduate Cum Laud and having to end up working at American Apparel with a hairy chested manager shaved in a particular pattern through his v-neck shirt. I wanted a "real job" you know but this will have to do. My father who is getting laid off in October is even downgrading to newspaper boy after having a very hefty office job as a project controller. This just shows me the true meaning of having to do what you gotta do. Inspiration, I guess.

Next plan is to fill out all these apps, and disburse them througout Monday and Tuesday. and GET ORGANIZED.

Hopefully I don't sleep in...ahhhh which just might happen.

Best,
-D

A whole new experiment- all thoughts and action

Here's the deal!

I am the greatest dilemma freak in the whole universe. Here's a new one. Since graduating I wanted to be this strong neurotic independent person who goes out with her girlfriends for cocktails, lining and dining with a string of relationships that end up as nostalgic gossip columns but...I went home to my parents house, watched the whole Godfather series (which is AWESOME, I like #2 the best, but debatable), lazed around, bummed, caught up with the crew for starbucks chats and eventful events such as having a yard sale for supplementary income ($60 mmmhmm).

SO THE Dilemma, finally.

I have gone without work for a month. Applied to over 40 places, nada. Not my fault, its that whore Miss Recession. At the moment paying $575 for an apartment in LA to fulfill my "dream."

Before moving to this fab apartment, I had a couple of weeks left in my old now empty shabu shabu where I basically woke up, went to work, and came back to a black empty hole. Heres where all you psychological people will get some sort of erotic stimulus in diagnostic therapy.

Because of the lonliness, I would get drunk and cut myself. I knew there was definitely something wrong, so I went to see some professionals and they suggested I go home for family and support.

Went home for about a month, drug happy psychiatrists prescribed my Pristiq, Lamictal, Klonopin Each visit and Co-pay was $20 under my parents plan, plus cost of medication is sucking my bank account into a dark and empty place.

SO NOW, OK, FOR THE ACTUAL EXPERIMENT.
I will be in LA for a week, actually stay in the apartment I have been paying $575/mo for and look for a job. In one or two weeks if that doesn't happen I will have to give up my lease and move home for good.

Does that Sound good? Yeeks, sounds scary, real scary.

Best,
-D

sOB.SESSION

Sigh..blah...life sucks.
Things are becoming monotonous. Again nothing exciting. When you've reached this stage of depression, usually these are your thoughts:

No answer about jobs="I am a worthless piece of shit who is better off dead"

Sending and Answering the same job listings to no avail= "You should have been a nurse."

How does anyone survive a time like this? I guess the loneliness is the hardest part, it's like who do you talk too when everyone's gone throughout the day. Which leads to a special topic of mine. LOVE...or EVOL (pronounced ee-vuhl)..or better yet obsession. When theirs nothing happening in one's life career wise, then its EVOL we start concentrating on. Its nature. Nature is truly a bitch who hates women.

Lots of ladies obsess about the man of their dreams, but its an eerie fact that many girls go through a phase where one small hint of someone possibly (I mean possibly) liking you sets off a series of events where one is likely too...

-Start thinking about future events, conversations, and possible wedding plans.
-Aimlessly check your phone after he texted you only once. You respond. Then-NOTHING!
-Facebook stalk (everyone's fave right?)
-Can't sleep
-Start listening to The Fray or Coldplay
-Instead of going menstrual once a month, you go menstrual every other day. An emotional roller coaster of ups and downs, ups and downs..check your phone-NOTHING!
-Start writing a blog about such obsession.

ahhhh....so it got me wondering on how obsession comes to play and some academic evidence points to my opinion is some mild form of OCD a woman forms after meeting specimen handsome.

More on that later.
-D

Staples may have cost me a Job.

I have been pretty busy these past few days trying to finish an application for this highly revered PR Program in NYC. Pretty much I've been thinking about this program for months but it was hard to get started. Mostly fear, not really laziness. I was a-scurred of even approaching the app.

Finally I was able to scrape everything together, and send it off. Low and behold I reread the instructions again and in big bold letters it said DO NOT BIND OR STAPLE. Did my peripheral vision not even see the word "STAPLE" because seriously I do not remember seeing that.

I've heard of horror stories of many of a pretentious hiring managers where a misspelled name, or not following big bolded highlighted italicized letters are little hints to the inability to complete a simple task.

Either way the only solution now is to forget about it, and move on with my life but this sucks because:

I worked hard on that app just to know that a simple staple (because I thought it might make it look a little more organized) would cost me an idealized future of a New York sky-rise happy go lucky stilleto and cocktails.

Yes, that was Sex and the City. Don't judge me.

Best,
-D

Just do it.

Today was a productive day, able to apply to 7 places and have a cover letter that was at once concise, attention grabbing, played to my strengths, and again concise.

So I'm doing this with all you guys, and we'll see if what I'm doing works out in the end. For the mean time to get started here are some of the websites I have found to be pretty darn helpful.

Monster.com
This is number 1 because its super easy to use. You can upload as many resume's and choose which one is suitable for the job. You may also choose to upload a generic cover letter that can be easily edited on the screen. As my dad said, "It's so easy you just apply, apply, apply..." Literally you just click apply. As an aspiring producer/writer it also gave me access to 4entertainmentjobs.com which has an uber list of everything entertainment. If you go through the site itself you have to pay a hefty fee, so uhh just use monster.

Idealist.com
I love this site because its all about people helping people, meaning many non-profit and government jobs, internships, or volunteer work. If you need work experience, and want to help out the community, this is ideal...(get it haha). Could use a broader filter platform to separate the non-paying and the paying jobs though. I even found a listing that offers free scuba diving for volunteering as an admin assistant. Awesome.

Jobcentral.com
This one place is actually four places in one. It searches through the listings of jobcentral, google, indeed.com, and simplyhired.com. Easy peasy, there filter options are one of the easiest things ever since you can find jobs for a specific location, company, by date, whether you want full time, part time, etc.

(For UCLA Alumns and Students) Bruinview
Ok so this is tricky but I believe it to be totally worth it (we'll see if I get a job out of it, but Jesus I believe..I hope), but in principle this database is intended for UCLA students and alumni and so if you happen to be in this category..they want you! Some problems though especially when you become alumni status.

The service actually cost $60. Remember this. When they sell you the GradPak, that's not paying for the service, getting the GradPak makes you only "eligible" to use it, but it does not activate anything. Hey at least you got a licence plate.

Also, it doesn't separate insternships from full time jobs. Sometimes "full-time" means full-time internships so if your not a student, out of luck dude, that Dreamworks, Disney, Warner Brothers, LA Times internships are only for students becuase ethically they need to pay you with some sort of "credit." Hey, you might have had a different experience but so far, this has been mine.

The easiest way to use Bruinview..On the homepage click "Jobs I qualify for."

Alright people, job whore it out.

-D

This is where it all got screwed up.

Playing a game of SceneIt Disney, we came across the British Lindsey Lohan in The Parent Trap. Automatically my friend says, "That's where it all went downhill, you know..when she started doing coke."

It all starts somewhere.

Think of me as Snow White, up on the castles of Westwood, Powell Library, Royce Hall...perfection..yes it was. More stories to come from that period, and in the spirit of Disney I have obtained the seven stages of occupational dwarfism,in which I will try successfully to stretch into the current condition having to graduate college has left me.

First one.
Happy. Look at my face.


So happy..and joyous...

...(probably 70% moved back home with their parents).

That's all good, sometimes some home lovin' is all you need to find a job. However, these friends are bound to ruin any hope...I mean all hope son...

Sneezy: Hungover, headaches, some form of illness is a good procrastination tool.
Grumpy: "Not feeling like it today, Dad. Now get me my food"
Bashful: I'm not worthy!
Sleepy: Its 1 pm. I need another nap. After 3pm.I can't move.
Doc: Short for Documents. That means applications, cover letters, writing samples, and the all inclusive resume. Remember keep it to a one page maximum and highlight why they need your qualifications.

Dopey:At some point you just might need a release.

"Poisonous" apple? She knew it, she had a choice dammit.

Maybe she was just trying to escape the reality of getting a real job.