A whole new experiment- all thoughts and action

Here's the deal!

I am the greatest dilemma freak in the whole universe. Here's a new one. Since graduating I wanted to be this strong neurotic independent person who goes out with her girlfriends for cocktails, lining and dining with a string of relationships that end up as nostalgic gossip columns but...I went home to my parents house, watched the whole Godfather series (which is AWESOME, I like #2 the best, but debatable), lazed around, bummed, caught up with the crew for starbucks chats and eventful events such as having a yard sale for supplementary income ($60 mmmhmm).

SO THE Dilemma, finally.

I have gone without work for a month. Applied to over 40 places, nada. Not my fault, its that whore Miss Recession. At the moment paying $575 for an apartment in LA to fulfill my "dream."

Before moving to this fab apartment, I had a couple of weeks left in my old now empty shabu shabu where I basically woke up, went to work, and came back to a black empty hole. Heres where all you psychological people will get some sort of erotic stimulus in diagnostic therapy.

Because of the lonliness, I would get drunk and cut myself. I knew there was definitely something wrong, so I went to see some professionals and they suggested I go home for family and support.

Went home for about a month, drug happy psychiatrists prescribed my Pristiq, Lamictal, Klonopin Each visit and Co-pay was $20 under my parents plan, plus cost of medication is sucking my bank account into a dark and empty place.

SO NOW, OK, FOR THE ACTUAL EXPERIMENT.
I will be in LA for a week, actually stay in the apartment I have been paying $575/mo for and look for a job. In one or two weeks if that doesn't happen I will have to give up my lease and move home for good.

Does that Sound good? Yeeks, sounds scary, real scary.

Best,
-D